How to Start Meditating

October 26, 2021 Jennifer Costanza | Rooted Life

How to Start a Meditation Practice

You see and hear it everywhere- meditation and mindfulness solving problems, calming anxiety and bringing peace to one’s life. Are these claims true? And if so, how can you make meditation work for your life?

When you’re super stressed and burnt out, adding one more task to your plate can feel overwhelming, even if it’s a small task. You’re not alone in feeling this way- I’ve been there. But what if I told you that with just five minutes of meditation each day, the rest of your day could go smoother? You could feel less overwhelmed, more focused, and more productive, too. This can be yours. Read on.

Why Meditate? A rundown of the Health Benefits

Meditation is like superfood for your brain. Practiced regularly, it can relax your mind and improve your emotional well-being. More specifically, meditation can help you respond to stressors more effectively and with more ease, boost your energy, help you think more clearly and creatively, and can even help improve symptoms of depression in some people. It’s also been observed to improve the health of your cells, balance hormones, reduce blood pressure, and strengthen the immune system. (For more on these health benefits, check out the additional resources I provide at the end of this article.)

In a very basic sense, when you engage in meditation- which can simply mean sitting quietly and focusing attention on your breath- your parasympathetic nervous system becomes activated and your body enters into “rest and digest” mode. Your stress response gets turned off, your body can start repairing itself, and your digestive system has a chance to work its magic.

More tangibly, you may notice that by practicing focusing on your breath and the present moment during meditation, and repeatedly turning your attention away from the many thoughts that pop up in your brain while you’re sitting with your eyes closed, you actually gain a new skill.

It’s like you’re building your brain ‘muscles’, but particularly the muscle that helps you stay focused, present, and in-the-moment. You may then find yourself flexing that muscle at other times during the day, too- becoming more productive at work, seeing relationships improve, etc. Plus, it’s probably no surprise to you, but staying mentally “present” can be very helpful for reducing overwhelm, stress, and helping you get through tough days in one piece.

My own Journey With Meditation

Yes, I believe meditation can improve your mindset and bring ease to your life. And yes, there is plenty of science to back that up. But I’ve also seen it happen through my own personal experience- and I’d never recommend you try something that I haven’t tried myself.

Here’s the thing: meditation may feel easy for you. Or it may be challenging and take a few tries. Everyone’s experience is different. For me, it took numerous attempts over several years before it clicked.

My first real experience with meditation was at least 10 years ago. I was still in graduate school, and I was getting really into Baptiste Power Vinyasa, which is basically an extreme type of power yoga that’s practiced in a very hot and humid studio, usually for 90 minutes. I wanted to do Baron Baptiste’s “40 Days to Personal Revolution” (a fantastic book, by the way).

I’m not sure the first time I tried to the do the 40 days. I recall trying to do it while I was living in Guatemala doing field research. And I also remember giving it a go once I was back in Providence, struggling to write up my dissertation and deal with the stresses of the academic job market. My hope through it all was that if I could just get through the 40 days- which included daily yoga, meditation and journaling among other things- that I would see a real transformation in my life. That my work would become easier. That I’d get into a good mental ‘flow’ so I could finish my PhD dissertation, stress-free. That I’d be able to let go of '‘imposter syndrome’ and just trust in myself. Tall order, huh?

The first week of the 40 days was always pretty easy. Five minutes of meditation in the morning, and five at night. The book provided some instructions on how to do it- basically I’d sit upright in a chair, set a timer for 5 minutes, close my eyes, and breathe.

I managed to make it through the five minutes. But when we were instructed to bump it up to 10 in week two, things fell apart. I couldn’t sit still that long! I couldn’t control the thoughts running through my mind, and then I’d start twitching, my chest would get tight, and I’d feet like I just couldn’t get enough oxygen into my lungs (don’t even tell me to focus on my breath at that point). Has this ever happened to you?

So those were my first attempts. A couple years later, after finishing my PhD, I was even more burnt out and my therapist suggested meditation. I also had a good friend who was buddhist (having left corporate America for a simpler life) and was always talking about how meditation could help me, as it had him.

So I gave it another go. And I ‘failed’ again (or so I thought). I couldn’t sit still, or breathe, especially if I tried to do it for more than five minutes. (Side note: I was actually so burnt out and exhausted at the time that closing my eyes for five minutes and staying awake was a great challenge). Moreover, I figured: “What good could five minutes do me?” was my thinking. Like any type-A overachiever, I believed it was wasted time if I couldn’t sit for at least ten, and ideally 30 minutes a day.

But I was wrong. Very wrong. Turns out 5 minutes can make a huge difference.

Years later, during my health coaching certification process, I developed a consistent meditation practice. And it started with only five minutes a day, with no pressure or expectation that I’d ever extend it further. I started by creating a new morning routine where I’d wake up, sit on my yoga mat in silence for five minutes, and then do some light stretching.

Lo and behold, after a few months I extended it to seven minutes, and then to 10. Today, I normally do 7 or 10 minutes first thing in the morning, after I feed my cat. I sit quietly, sometimes in a chair and other times on a pillow on the living room floor. I focus on my breath or do a ‘breathwork’ practice such as belly breathing or box breathing.

That feeling that was always so elusive to me- the feeling of walking through my day in a state of peace and calm- has finally materialized in my life.

I’ve also incorporated short, 1-3 minute meditations into my daily life when I need to switch tasks during the day, or before a zoom meeting. It helps me clear my mind and stay focused on the work that’s in front of me.

Some Tips for Beginning Meditating

Making meditation work in your own life is easier than you think. And while there are many different ways to begin meditating, here’s a few quick tips.

Consistency is Key

It’s not how long you meditate that’s going make a different in your life- it’s how often you do it. Think of it as building a new habit, where you need to practice that habit every day. This is a good thing, I promise. It means you can let go of any perfectionist tendencies that are pushing you to meditate for 30 minutes “or else it’s garbage.” Start with anywhere from two to five minutes, with no expectation of an increase.

One way to stay consistent is to make meditation part of your morning routine- something you do each morning, right when you wake up, before you start your day. This works best for most people, in part because your mind is usually the most calm or ‘blank’ first thing in the morning. But you might feel that you prefer doing it at night, maybe as part of an evening wind-down routine. Either way, choose a time of day and try to stick to it.

And, if you miss for one (or more) days, try not to beat yourself up about it. Developing this habit is a practice in itself. Allow yourself leeway and start again the next day.

Find a quiet place where you feel comfortable

Where are you going to meditate? A straight-backed chair can be a good choice. You’ll want to sit upright in the chair, feet on the ground, hands rested lightly in your lap or on top of your thighs. Another option is to sit on the floor. If you do, try sitting cross-legged with your bum on a pillow or yoga block, and your hands resting lightly on your thighs or knees. Try to sit up tall with your back straight, shoulders back.

Above all, choose a location where you can sit undisturbed and in relative quiet for at least 5 minutes.

Some people prefer to delegate a specific area of their home for meditation, and decorate it with candles and other props. I honestly don’t have such a space in my home (though I’d like one). But if I’d waited to create one, I would have never begun meditating. So consider a meditation space more of a second-stage task, if it’s going to take much more than a half hour of your time to create.

Choose a beginner style that works for you

There are many styles of meditation, and loads of guided meditation CDs, downloads, and podcasts out there now, as well as apps with guided meditations. Choose what’s going to work for you. And if one style isn’t working, try a different one!

Option 1: Focus on your breathing. Sit in your quiet place. Set a timer for two to five minutes (the one in your phone works great). Close your eyes, and focus your attention on your breath.

Option 2: Focus on a mantra. If focusing on your breath is not working, try repeating a word or phrase in your mind. For example, you could focus on the number “1”. Visualize “1” or “one” in your mind and say it over and over again to yourself as you inhale and exhale. Alternatively, set an intention for your meditation or your day, and repeat it to yourself in the same way. As soon as you notice that your mind has wanders (it will!), just turn your attention back to the mantra.

Option 3: Try a guided meditation. If you already have a meditation that you downloaded, or a meditation CD, try using that. If not, there are a ton of meditation apps available for you to download onto your phone nowadays.

I have three that I sometimes use. First, I subscribe to Alo Moves, and while I mostly use this app for at-home workouts and yoga classes, there are lots of meditations available including multi-day courses meant for beginners.

A second app I have on my phone is Breethe. It has a lot of guided meditations, categorized by theme (eg “start your day,” “focus at work”, “fall asleep”). I received a subscription to this app as a gift, but I don’t use it too much.

I mostly use a third app that has a robust free version, Insight Timer. It’s got a lot of different functions and syncs with the “Health” app on my iPhone so I can track how much/often I’m meditating- which really just provides a form of self-accountability. I mainly use the timer function- I can set it for however many minutes I choose, and it will ‘wake’ me from the meditation with a sound of my choosing. The app comes with lots of guided meditations, many of which are free, and a bunch of other cool features including live meditations and live yoga classes (again, many of which are free).

If you’re new to meditation, try each of these approaches to meditating and see what works for you the best. And whatever style you choose…

Don’t expect an empty mind

In fact, try to release your expectations completely. Our brains are on auto-pilot. Thoughts are always moving around in your mind. And while meditation can help you become more aware of what those thoughts are, you can’t really control them or eliminate them.

So first, expect that lots of random thoughts will appear to you while you’re meditating. You’re not going to have a blank mind. Try not to get angry when thoughts appear (though if you are getting angry, that’s information you can reflect on afterwards). When you notice that your mind has run awry, just turn your attention back to your breath, your mantra, or the guided meditation. Keep doing it, every time your mind wanders. You’ll probably do it a lot! In fact, it may happen that the first few attempts at meditating, you become lost in thought for much of the time, maybe only catching yourself once. This is normal and OK. Just keep at it! You will gradually build your ability to focus. This is how you practice being present and living in the moment, instead of living in your monkey mind.

That said, it’s also ok to pay attention to the thoughts that do run through your mind. After your meditation is over, you could jot down those thoughts in a journal, and consider what they reveal about you and where you are at in your life. In other words, you may find that your meditation practice can help guide you in making decisions about your life.

What if you’re still Struggling?

So you’ve tried all the above approaches to meditation (and maybe a few others that I didn’t list), and you feel like it isn’t working for you? You are definitely not alone.

The next step for you might be to do a little self-exploration- this is the kind of work I often do with my coaching clients. We might explore why is meditation not working or what aspect of meditation is not working well.

And importantly, be gentle with yourself. Developing a daily practice takes not only commitment, but time. And the benefits of that practice will also materialize to you over time- rarely overnight.

One last thing, however, is that if you are in super burnout mode- if you’ve been experiencing chronic stress for quite a while- then even five minutes of meditation could feel too challenging. That’s certainly where I was at when I tried meditating years ago. You might try dropping down to 2-3 minutes and see if that works.

I can offer you support, too

And if you could use some extra support with lifting yourself out of burnout, I’m here to offer that in the form of 1-on-1 coaching directed at helping you manage stress, feel more energy and get your health under control. You can learn more about what working together would look like and book a time to chat here.